Book of Offensive Quotes Attributed to Bloomberg Compiled By His Employees Surfaces

An entire book of offensive quotes by Bloomberg compiled by his employees has surfaced.

A Bloomberg spokesperson claimed to Business Insider “A Bloomberg campaign spokesperson told Insider that, “Mike simply did not say the things somebody wrote in this gag gift, which has been circulating for 30 years and has been quoted in every previous election Mike has been in.”

This contradicts the Editor’s Note that says “Yes, these are all actual quotes.”

From BusinessInsider:

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign has struggled to fully address the nominee’s well-documented history with women and people of color. One key aspect of that struggle is Bloomberg’s own company, Bloomberg LP. Indeed, some of the candidate’s purportedly most outrageous remarks were originally memorialized by his own employees in an actual booklet that has been passed around, samizdat-style, for decades by his former staffers, journalists, and political operatives.

The booklet — “The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg” — was crafted by Bloomberg LP employees looking to roast their boss by compiling his allegedly most crude, sexist, and seemingly off-color quips over the years. It was presented to him as a gift for his 48th birthday, on Valentine’s Day 1990.

Insider recently obtained a copy of the booklet, and is publishing it below. The Washington Post first published the document on Saturday morning, as part of a larger package about Bloomberg’s behavior toward women. The paper’s story builds upon Business Insider’s original investigation, in November 2019, into a number of lawsuits filed by former Bloomberg employees.

Select quotes purportedly from Bloomberg and referenced in “The Portable Bloomberg”

On liberals: “The only liberal I trust is a rich old liberal. Why? Because they’re old enough to understand what they’re saying, and they’re rich enough to pay for what they say!” (Page 31)

On computers: “You know why computers will never take the place of people? Because a computer would say that the sex of the person giving you a blow job doesn’t matter!” (Page 18)

On the Bloomberg terminal: It will do everything, including give you a blowjob. I guess that puts a lot of you girls out of business.” (Page 18)

On marriage: “Sex with someone you love… is sex with someone you love. The plusses are you don’t have to buy dinner and the only thing you catch with callouses,” and “Whenever my wife catches me eyeing some broad, she’s very careful to turn to me and say, ‘That’s the most expensive piece of ass in the world!'” (Page 29)

On capitalism: “I believe in the capitalist system and free enterprise. The only exception is 8th Avenue, where people pay for what they could get for free.” (Page 16)

On being told “no”: “Let me tell you something, buddy boy, I have pictures of you and they’re not with your wife.”(Page 10)

On restaurants: “There are three types of favorite restaurants: Where would you go if you had to eat there forever — I’d say ’21’. Then, where would you go for your last meal — Le Cygne. Then, there’s where you would take your wife for your last meal — McDonald’s.” (Page 30)

On salesmanship: “Make the customer think he’s getting laid when he’s getting fucked.” (Page 7)

You can read the “The Portable Bloomberg” by scrolling down, in the embed below, or via DocumentCloud.